Open Call

Oprah has not called yet. I'm not put off by it, I know she's busy. But I thought I would just put myself out there. Maybe she doesn't know I'd be interested. In fact, there are a lot of great shows out there whose producers should be made aware that, yes, if invited, I would indeed be happy to showcase our little cookie topped cupcakes and cakes for their enjoyment. Top of the list, next to Ms. Winfrey, of course -- Martha Stewart. We both went to Barnard College. She seems to have done more with her degree than I have, but that aside, maybe she would think I could bring something to the dessert table at least. I've also seen some cookie topped cakes in her catalogues over the years, so we apparently are simpatico when it comes to styles. Next, Rachel Ray's Show. I just think she would dig what we're doing and give a perky exclaim when she saw our stuff. And I want to hear what nickname our goodies would get. Cookie toppos? Cookie cakies? Where would she take this? Finally, I would do the Today Show, but I would prefer it if Natalie Morales would host the segment. She's having a baby soon, and we could top some cupcakes with little booties or baby chicks or onesies and really get to show off. She also seems very sweet. I'm a little too local for the Regis and Kelly show and I'm not sure if Regis would get what we do, but Kelly has three kids, so I'd like the chance to market myself to her and get at least three solid gigs a year there.

Finally, as a side note, I'd like to invite David Sedaris to work at my bakery for a month or so. He seems to have a varied resume and I doubt would find the prospect absurd. His sister, Amy, also makes cupcakes I understand, so maybe he'll want to check out what we do here to pass on some tips to her. While I do need the extra pair of hands always, it's more for his own enjoyment that I think of him. I imagine he would thrill at the prospect of writing the ridiculous phrases that pass for serious instruction, criticism and conversation here. "You forgot to put the pink bow in the monkey's hair. See, it's written right here. Pink bow." "Replace the elephants with giraffes and add more lions." "You put black hooves on the pigs?" "The border on that cake looks like lots of little boobs." I could go on, but I'll save it for David to discover himself. (And if Amy wants to come, too, that's fine with me.)